1-I cried. That's not why I'm frustrated. I cried because I realized I had promised more money to area schools and churches and youth "groups" in our mini-walk program than we had money for. I'm $3,500 over. And when I told my supervisor this newsflash, he was a bit confused. and I was a bit confused, and frustrated.
You see, since the beginning of August and even before, my boss has been hardcore: almost every time he saw me he would say, "3000 walkers. We gotta get those 3000 walkers." Because if I recruit 3000 walkers, the Mission gets $50,000, which is HUGE. That's a lot of money. That's almost twice my yearly salary, but we won't go there...
So here I am, trying to get all these walkers, yet completely stressed and anxious and almost avoiding it because it's SO much pressure on my shoulders, and I have almost 2000 recruited already, and I realize--oh no! I've over-promised sponsorship money (from a foundation who underwrites students' registration fees so they can walk).
I think my lesson to learn was this: I hate pressure. I can't stand carrying pressure on my own. If I feel a lot of pressure and not an even amount of support, I bulk. Maybe I don't believe in myself enough. Maybe I just don't like being a lone ranger. I'm not the "let's go get 'em" kind. I'm the... "let's work together to make this work" kind. There are certain things that motivate me, but I think most of all--is team.
2-My volunteers didn't listen to me. I scheduled them to work specific days, and they come other days. And they have support from the resident "in charge," who allows them to break rules and gives them special privileges, when they're breaking the rules. Call it hurt pride, but not only am I frustrated at the volunteers (who actually receive services from us, so it's like they're trying to get around the system... I'm sorry if I sound cold; I'm not, I'm just learning how a lot of these people work), but I'm frustrated especially at the resident who thinks he has the authority to go against the guidelines I laid out.
SO... non-confrontational Emily will be having some serious discussions tomorrow making sure everyone understands the guidelines laid out. And I'm going to try to be as humble, loving, and assertive as possible. Please pray for me, if you get this in time and remember!
*hmmmmmmmm
Besides that, I went running in 48 degree rain in my new Under Armour running gear, and it was great. The gear, that is. The run--was freezing. I am stupid.
*hug*
--E
This whole walk-a-thon thing sounds like a nightmare. I would not wish that responsibility on any single individual to handle alone. So you just buck up and be that "go get em' " person.. because you can definitely be that. You will do it.. I have faith in you. However, regardless of how it all ends up.. you are definitely learning some valuable life lessons from this whole thing!
ReplyDeleteThe whole volunteer situation and people not listening to your arrangements sounds vaguely reminiscent of discipline problems with my high school students. I will pass along the same counsel someone gave me my first year of teaching that is applicable to your situation. They said, "The room I teach in is MY classroom. I should feel at home and completely at ease and in control of MY room. So when students come into MY territory what I say goes or they can get out." Christian or unchristian... you need to feel like you are in control of what you are supposed to be in control of.. so you lay down the law, sister. (I believe that you can do this in a way that doesn't make you less of an example.) Go get em' tiger.
Oh.. the other issue is.. these residents aren't respecting you and your authority on this situation. That is not okay.. because if you allow it.. it will just get worse. You have every right to feel like your pride is hurt, I know exactly how it feels. When I tell a student to sit down five times, I am about ready to boil water I am so ticked off. I tend to be more patient than I should be. I think in these instances you have demand respect or you will find you are backed into a corner that you cannot get out of. (Which is exactly what happened during my first semester of teaching.) You should definitely sit these people down and explain what they are doing to your authority when they bi-pass it. I don't mean to be "tell you how to do" but it ticks me off to hear that people are treating you this way because I know exactly how it feels. It's not cool.
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